By Morgan Rebernik
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April 28, 2021
To say my fitness journey was easy would be a lie...it was difficult. I started out at an all-women's gym; I had a very negative body image, and an extremely unhealthy relationship with food. At that time, “exercising” for me, was playing around on some machines, and then following it with a lot of running on the treadmill. There was no rhyme or reason to anything that I had been doing, because I myself had no idea what I needed. Unfortunately, that gym ended up closing, so I found myself working out at a commercial gym all by myself in one of those group-fitness classrooms, going back and forth between random dumbbell exercises and again, the treadmill. This went on for about 2 years...2 years of being intimidated and worried about what everyone else in the gym was doing, and what they might think about me. I can recall during my freshman year of college, thinking back to when I still belonged to the all-female gym, and how I participated in a “fitness competition,” shortly before they closed. I recalled how great I felt about what I had done- it was the first time I had ever used a barbell, and we had to perform the deadlift. In the midst of this recollection, my life had been pretty overwhelming. I had been dealing with some family issues, my grandfather had just recently passed away, and I was still struggling with body image issues on top of my unhealthy relationship with food. With all of this that had been going on, I was “working out,” running almost every day, and I still wasn’t seeing the results I wanted to. Ah-ha! I decided to push my fears out of the forefront of my mind, and forced myself to get out of that depressing group-exercise classroom, lay off the treadmill a little bit, and workout with the rest of the gym-goers. The fitness competition that I did made me feel good about myself; I felt empowered and accomplished, and I wanted those feelings to come back. So, I did my own “research,” began lifting weights with the rest of the crowd, and finally realized, “damn, I’m actually pretty strong.” I continued with this strength journey focusing on “The Big 3” (squat, bench, and deadlift) and actually started doing powerlifting competitions. The sense of empowerment, the stress relief, and the strength potential that I had been experiencing, motivated and challenged me to keep this journey going. Understanding how to change my relationship with food and appreciate its fuel was life-changing. I am a strong powerlifter, and a force to be reckoned with. I’m about 5 years into powerlifting, hitting numbers I would have never even believed I could handle back when I was still hiding in that group-exercise room. My body image has made a complete 180-degree turn, and my relationship with food has gotten better after I realized that if I wanted to do well with this new-found love of mine, I had to give my body the nourishment and the love it needed. Lifting became my happy-place, my outlet. When I'm feeling stressed/anxious, sad/angry, the iron solves it. 5 years later, and I'm now attaining the long-term goals I had originally set for myself when I first started. My journey hasn’t been easy, but it’s the best decision I could have ever made for myself. I wish someone could have seen me struggling and reached out, just to tell me that I CAN do this, and to not be so hard on myself, and to enjoy the process. I’ve been calling it my “fitness” or “strength” journey, but it’s really just a life journey. It’s gotten me the life I never necessarily knew I wanted, but also everything I needed to develop into the person I am today. Let’s get your journey started and make these gainz, together.